I Asked the Lord to Comfort Me

Ever had a season that just feels like it will never end? One thing piled upon another, and another, and another until the weight becomes so crushing that you want to stay curled up in a little ball for as long as possible?

Oh, my friend, I know exactly how you feel. I shared in May that I lost my Dad to cancer in February; what I didn’t share is that during the entire year prior I was also helping my Mom through surgical complications after a bilateral mastectomy. The emotions I felt during 2022 could best be described as riding on the world’s craziest roller coaster with no way to get off. While we are still grieving the loss of Dad, we are settling into a new season with more sunny days than cloudy ones.

Until last week.

I learned last Tuesday that I have breast cancer. I can’t say I was at all surprised with the diagnosis, cancer has visited the women in my family from my great-grandmother down to my mother. My doctors have been very diligently watching precancer cells in my left breast for a couple years. When I took the call telling me “you have cancer in the right breast and we’ve caught it very early,” my logical self just checked the “as expected” box and I began researching options and making plans. I spent quite a bit of time in prayer, thanking God for the early diagnosis and excellent medical advantages that many in my family didn’t have. I know what I plan to do and am comfortable with the choice I have made.

But the wait…the wait for the first surgical appointment where I can share those plans with the doctor who I will ask to carry them out…the wait is overwhelming. The past two days it has truly hit me. I have cancer. That insidious, obnoxious, horrible disease that has taken several women I truly loved has me in it’s clutches. Me. I have cancer.

Honestly, I’ve never allowed myself to be emotional about things, but it’s so very different when it is me facing cancer rather than caring for and helping someone else. I realized in the wee hours of the morning today that I am a little afraid. Even though I know what a blessing it is to have caught it early, even though I have loving family and friends surrounding me, even though I know that God is Sovereign and will carry me through the next few months – I’m still a little afraid.

The fact that I can say that aloud to myself, and now to you, is a testament to how the Holy Spirit has changed me. I’ve gone through some pretty difficult things in my life and never really felt fear until now, and would never have admitted that to anyone before. But I’ve learned that God has called us to be there for one another, to encourage each other through good times and bad, and if we never share how we really feel we are truly missing out on the love He shares through those around us. I have learned to trust God in all things, and He will carry me. He has provided so many wonderful blessings during my lifetime, even before I knew Him as my savior, and He will continue to cover me with His love.

I asked the Lord to comfort me

When things weren’t going my way;

He said to me “I will comfort you and lift your cares away.”

I asked the Lord to walk with me,

When darkness was all that I knew:

He said to me, “Never be afraid, for I will see you through.”

I did not ask for riches,

He gave me wealth untold –

The moon, the stars, the sun, the sky,

And He gave me eyes to behold

I thank the Lord for everything,

And I count my blessing each day;

He came to me when I need Him-

I only had to pray:

He’ll come to you if you’ll ask Him to –

He’s only a prayer away.

Mahlia Jackson – I Asked The Lord

Have faith in Christ, my friend. If you don’t know Him yet, seek Him. Whatever your trouble, whatever your shame, He alone can truly heal.

My prayer for you – and for me – is from Ephesians chapter 3. The Apostle Paul prayed this for them, and it’s a perfect prayer for us.

“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”